My Life Is a Beautiful Disaster and I'm Thrilled
There was a ton of planning in my last post. Man, I am the queen of epic plans! Following through, not so much. But, I did a bit better this time:
- No emergency fund but bills are just barely being paid each month. To be fair, the grant funds I was counting on for an emergency fund got delayed and I won't see them until January (they issued them for winter as opposed to fall quarter because they were sent to the wrong school, my old school, initially).
- I know pretty much exactly where my goals are leading me now. That's a major break through.
- Mo and I somehow managed to break our entire entertainment spending habit. It kind of just happened.
- I simply don't give a fuck anymore. The punk rock ethos that lead me through high school and into my early 20s has returned, and it is wonderful. Being able to say fuck you, to both people and situations, is simply one of the best gifts you can give yourself.
#1: Finances
Yep, still broke. Had to even play the overdraft game a time or two. BUT, everything is currently paid and up to date. In fact, we are almost down to the bare necessities and will be by the end of December -- rent, insurance, gas/maintenance, storage fee, electric, wi-fi, small personal loan, kid's curriculum subscription, a small personal loan, and phone. Plus, less than $30 a month on general household stuff (cat food/litter and TP, mainly).
The loan, storage fee & curriculum expense are gone as of December (one more payment on curriculum and loan, storage is almost emptied and will be before the lease renewal). Less money is going out than coming in, for the first time in a very long time. We'll be okay and will actually start having a surplus.
#2: Personal Goals
I know where I am heading. I completed a native plant stewardship certification in October, and I took over a lead steward role (a volunteer position) for two sites -- one inland riparian forest and one shore-side salt marsh. I work with two other stewards to manage the inland site, and its nice to know people that care about what I care about.
What I have discovered in my stewardship work is that my passion lies with working in the field to solve the real problems with natural area restoration and mitigation. I love being in the field identifying problems and solutions. I love working with local residents (including our homeless neighbors), parks departments, conservancy groups, and business owners to find solutions to keep our homes wild and our ecosystems functioning. I have just enough rage to stand up for our wild areas, but also enough tact to actually get things done. My love for organizing things and creating solutions and plans makes me excel here. In fact, my volunteer work has affected me so much that I switched majors -- I'm no longer majoring in biology. I am now majoring in Environmental Science, with a terrestrial & freshwater ecology emphasis, through Huxley College at WWU. Everything feels right now.
Mo's focus has also turned to the outdoors. Ocean advocacy has lit her fire. Beach cleanups, educational outreach, and being an environmental activist for our ocean, and the Salish in particular, has become her calling. Sure, she's still an artist to pay the bills. I am excited to see where this newly awakened passion takes her, though.
Boy #2, who still lives at home of course, is also finding new passions. Rocks and geology are the passions du jour, but more importantly, he is starting to look beyond high school. He has decided he either wants to be a field scientist or a back country educator. He does not want to do full on dual enrollment like his brother did because he wants to explore the science classes and find a focus at a single institution. So instead, he plans to get his math and English classes, and also an elective or two, out of the way at a community college while he is still in high school, then transfer to a 4 year for the rest of his education.
Boy #1 is doing just fine. He got over his crippling home sickness and adjusted to life in the dorms. He is completing his junior year of college. He recently received his early childhood education certificate and has begun working as a substitute teacher, instead of just an aide, in the kindergarten room at the preschool on campus. He got accepted into his major (education). He is saving 90% of his income. He is looking into being an RA his senior year for the free housing and meal plan.
#3: Entertainment
Our lifestyle is so different than what is was. Maybe it is being somewhere that we actually enjoy. I like staying home, now, and no longer feel like I'm pissing away my life by staying home in the evenings. We cook simple meals six nights a week. On the 7th, we either do cheap takeout at one of the places nearby with awesome student discounts, or we go out for a single beer and appetizers. Boy #2 often joins us now, but we still rarely spend more than $15-20 for some time out. We meal prep a big pot of soup on Sundays to supply us lunches for the week. We take coffee with us, or even bring the camp stove and make some while sitting on a beach somewhere.
Saturday date nights have become family days. The three of us head to a trail or a beach somewhere, lunch packed up. Weather doesn't matter, as long as it isn't dangerously windy. I have an old tent fly I saved from a trashed tent, which makes a great compact shelter for an impromptu picnic on a rainy day. We tumble back into town tired and hungry, so we typically grab some chinese takeout ($5 meals with student ID) or a pizza ($8 large, also with a student ID). Sometimes we'll go out as a family. There's a nicer sit-down pizza place the boy likes where we can get a big ol' chicago pie for $18 (less if you have their app and watch for discounts), as well as a Mexican place we all enjoy that has $5 options on Taco Tuesday or we'll split the huge large nacho plate that's $12. If it's just Mo and I, we usually go to a brewery, enjoy a beer each and split an appetizer for less than $15 (before tip).
We go to beach cleanups, tree planting events, and volunteer salmon counts when we want to socialize with others. Or, we hit up one of the free events on campus, like plays, lectures, movies, live music, and open-mic nights at the campus coffee shop.
Our entertainment costs are well under $100 a month these days, and often much, much less.
#4: My Fucks Have Flown
I just don't give a damn anymore. Perhaps it's because I am out of range of my mom's judginess, paranoia, and narcissism, or maybe it's because I live somewhere without the violence, bigotry, and gun humping that was an ever-present concern in eastern WA. I don't know. I just know that I am punk rock again.
I'll speak up for myself and for others. I'm not concerned with calling anyone on their bullshit. My social anxiety is almost non-existent, and my self confidence is back. I don't really care what others think of me, and as a result I think I am more genuine and meeting people has become easier.
This may be the smallest entry in this list, but make no mistake, it is the most life-changing and empowering of all the things that have come to pass.
***
So that's where we are. My life may still be a beautiful disaster, but it's my beautiful disaster and I'm pretty damn happy with it.
Comments
Post a Comment